HAHAH FUCK U HERE WE GO DICKHEAD

Cody looked at Charlotte and rolled his eyes a little. “You don’t know me as well as you think.” She really didn’t. Just because he poured out a little bit of his heart to her didn’t mean she knew him. “This might be exactly who I am. And you just have this vision of me that you want me to match. Newsflash, hon, that’s not how people work. People are complicated.” 

Charlotte’s eyes welled with tears. “I do know you well enough to know you’re scared. Just like me. You’re scared of yourself and what’s happening to you. You’re scared of your future and you’re scared of the past. What’s someone who is scared of past, present, and future supposed to do? You can hide behind the guise of ‘people are complicated’ and pretend like your shoving emotions down makes you stronger, but none of that’s true. And I think you know that, Dakota.”

He let out a sigh and turned toward her. “I relapsed, okay? Is that what you want to hear? That I’m a giant fuck up who has nothing better to do than pop pills and get high to numb the pain of having to deal with this little shitty thing called life? Goddamn, Charlotte. You couldn’t just leave me alone, could you?” He was completely irrational at this point. He wanted to hurt her. He wanted to push her far away so she wouldn’t be hurt by him again and again when he inevitably relapsed again. His clean streak had to start over. “I’m weak. You think I’m this strong person, but I’m not. So just… leave me alone, okay?”

“You’re not a fuck up, Dakota.” Charlotte leaned forward, getting as close to him as she felt he was comfortable with before pulling away. “You think that you’re the only person in the world who fails sometimes. The only person in the world whose life isn’t what they wanted – that’s not true, Dakota. It’s not,” she sighed and brushed her bangs from out of her face. “I care about you so I want to be here. I don’t care if you’re weak or strong – whatever the hell you are, you snuck in to my heart and now I care. And I want to help you. However I can.”

“Who else am I going to do this to? The only person I have any sense of control over is me. And you know what? I don’t even have control of myself most of the time. Don’t you know that by now?” he asked, arms and hands gesticulating manically. “You don’t want me. Don’t even kid yourself. I’m broken. You’re broken. Broken can’t fix broken. Broken doesn’t belong with broken. Whatever we had in the hospital is over. It’s done. Now just… go. Seriously go.”

vgkwrites:

“You haven’t been yourself lately.”

Cody looked at Charlotte and rolled his eyes a little. “You don’t know me as well as you think.” She really didn’t. Just because he poured out a little bit of his heart to her didn’t mean she knew him. “This might be exactly who I am. And you just have this vision of me that you want me to match. Newsflash, hon, that’s not how people work. People are complicated.” 

“Just talk to me. Please.”

He let out a sigh and turned toward her. “I relapsed, okay? Is that what you want to hear? That I’m a giant fuck up who has nothing better to do than pop pills and get high to numb the pain of having to deal with this little shitty thing called life? Goddamn, Charlotte. You couldn’t just leave me alone, could you?” He was completely irrational at this point. He wanted to hurt her. He wanted to push her far away so she wouldn’t be hurt by him again and again when he inevitably relapsed again. His clean streak had to start over. “I’m weak. You think I’m this strong person, but I’m not. So just… leave me alone, okay?”

“Don’t do this to yourself.” 

“Who else am I going to do this to? The only person I have any sense of control over is me. And you know what? I don’t even have control of myself most of the time. Don’t you know that by now?” he asked, arms and hands gesticulating manically. “You don’t want me. Don’t even kid yourself. I’m broken. You’re broken. Broken can’t fix broken. Broken doesn’t belong with broken. Whatever we had in the hospital is over. It’s done. Now just… go. Seriously go.”

“I can’t just sit by and do nothing when you’re suffering so much.”

“You can, actually. You’d be better off if you did.” And with that, Cody turned on his heel and walked away because he couldn’t stand to see the way she was looking at him. All Cody saw was sadness and disgust all caused by him. By the end of his yelling match with her, he could sense that he had verbally beaten her down. And that was what he wanted. He wanted to hurt her so badly that she never tried to reach out to him. Because he couldn’t fix himself. He wasn’t strong enough to. And everything was better this way.

“You’re broken? I’m broken? Dakota nobody’s broken until they’re dead. Do you even understand what you’re saying at this point? Because I don’t think you do,” Charlotte shouted. “I didn’t ever try to fix you and at no point did I ever say we ‘belong’ together, because we don’t. You’re my friend and I care about you – and I don’t give up on people I care about. If that’s the idea of ‘belonging’ to you, then so be it. Then us to ‘broken’ fuck-ups belong together because who else would ever want us, right?” she placed her hands on her head. “My parents didn’t want me, my boyfriend stopped wanting me, hell my daughter won’t want me in the future – huh? All because I’m some broken little thing, right? Some broken little thing that you have determined can’t help someone she cares about. You know what, fuck you Dakota. Fuck you. I’m going – because I deserve better than being told what I deserve by someone who doesn’t know who he is or what he wants yet.”